Speaker's stand up in USA

Good evening, ladies and gents.

I want to say hello to everybody for reading this tonight.

Now, I traveled through this great country of Yours, all because I wanted to know more about the most powerful nation in the world. First I've known You in my childhood via TV series: Hazzard, Chips, Stursky & Hutch... You know, the imprinting thing. So I've traveled my ass off to get here and re-discover the USA, ladies and gents.

And now I can say it all. I understand what the american way of life is.

After traveling miles and miles through Your country and seeing all of You folks, in Your huge vans and pick-ups driving from, say, Hollywood to Venice or Santa Monica, as well from Page to the nearest walmart to get the meal for the next week and put it in the fridge down in Your cellar - Well, You got the picture.

But if You want some more picture, here it is one that says it all:

So, as I told You before, I now understand why You fight for Your way of life. Why You develop weapons and send Your troops in foreign countries miles away from home to take control on the very first ingredient of Your system. Your Nation asks for it. It's for You and your kids.

Just one word says it all. Three letters. Yes, You've guessed right.

Fat.

Sure, look at that picture - You see that delicious yellow ass? (Not a gay test, relax)

So I see, You need all that fat in Your blood. Egg salad and bacon and sausages for breakfast in the morning. Bagels and donuts and sandwiches for lunch. Steaks at dinner. Butter on your bread. Syrup on your pancakes.

Therefore You need to send Your youngster in fat-landia and take control of every source of fat.

OK, folks, OK, You've got it right. I was J.F.K.

The word I was thinking about is pretty different.

Garlic.

Everywhere. Potatoes, bread, crabs... Maybe even John's water has it - not that I tasted it, OK?

This is Radio Free Mouth, I'm SpeakerMuto and I'm listening to "Country home" by John Denver. End of fuckin' story.